Paradox Log 01
Why My Inner World Became My Most Important Work -
We often chase visibility ā in our art, our work, our lives ā but the deepest kind of recognition begins in the quiet return to self. This is the story of how coming home, again and again, reshaped not only how I create, but why.
If youāve known my online presence for a while, you know Iāve lived many lives across cities. From Detroit to Chicago to Los Angeles, with soul-shaping travels in between, Iāve constantly sought to evolve. But one thing all that movement has taught me is this: home isnāt just a place. Itās not the skyline, the zip code, or the people you return to. Home is the internal ground you build. The stillness you cultivate within. And coming home to yourself isnāt a one-time event Itās a lifelong devotion. This Motherās Day, I went home for the first time since my grandmotherās funeral. There was grief, yes, but also a deep settling. A quiet knowing. I realized that the idea of āhomeā of stability, safety, and soul is something we return to over and over. Sometimes through a physical visit. Sometimes through an inward collapse and reawakening. It felt familiar, like returning to the why behind my art. The truth behind the lens.
For over 15 years, Iāve been creating visuals that make people feel seen. But behind the beauty and clarity of my imagery, thereās always been a tension light and shadow, joy and grief, direction and surrender. What Iāve come to understand is that art doesnāt just emerge from aesthetics or strategy. It emerges from presence. From choosing to root yourself in who you are, even as the world tells you to perform something shinier, louder, more legible. In todayās world, itās easy to get lost in wins, followers, press, and projections. Success becomes a performance. A role youāre cast in. But what happens when that version of success doesnāt feed your spirit? What happens when you achieve the thing, but feel no closer to yourself? Thatās when I realized the equation I had to rewrite for myself: success does not always equal fulfillment.
On a recent flight, I was seated next to a man who stood up often during the ride, needing to stretch and move. I admit I was annoyed I had the aisle seat and had to keep getting up. But as we landed, he turned to me and said he was a monk and was getting up frequently to pray. He had noticed my tattoo ā the symbol of the crown chakra on my hand. He asked if I believed in awakenings, and I told him Iāve had several. We talked briefly about death, the afterlife, and the process of letting go a bit intense for someone I just met yes, but thatās my life. Before we parted, he gifted me a book about self-realization.
It felt like the universe was speaking to me directly. That conversation reminded me of the difference between self-actualization and self-realization. For years, Iāve pursued self-actualization refining my craft, expanding my vision, building a name. Itās the process of becoming who youāre meant to be. Itās creative mastery, personal growth, and living with intention. Iāve dedicated my life to that. But self-realization is something deeper. Itās not about becoming more. Itās about remembering what you already are. Itās the quiet unraveling of illusion the idea that you have to earn your worth, prove your value, or chase your power. Self-realization is a spiritual homecoming. Itās not just knowing what you can do itās recognizing that you are not separate from the source of your creation. That you are being itself. Thatās where this new version of me is emerging. And itās what Paradox Blog was born from ā the intersection of the outer world and inner truth. The understanding that we can build, create, and show up fully in the world, while also tending to our roots, our rest, and our spiritual foundation. My work is no longer about proving itās about remembering. Reclaiming. Realigning. Coming home isnāt always gentle. Sometimes it asks for a collapse. For discomfort. For surrender. But every time I listen to that nudge that quiet call to return I find myself again. Not the version Iāve curated for the world, but the version Iāve always been underneath it all.
Home, Iāve learned, isnāt a destination. Itās the ongoing practice of checking in, realigning, and choosing soul over surface. And when we return to that place, our art becomes more than image it becomes transmission and activation. So I ask you: What does home feel like to you? Are you building your life on solid ground or on what others expect of you? Have you made space to return? Because you donāt have to perform to be powerful. You donāt have to be perfect to be whole. You are allowed to soften, to listen, and still rise.
This is the paradox. And this is the path.
āThe paradox is this: I disappear behind the camera
only to find myself.ā